How do you tell when they are REALLY crazy?

Okay, so I was working a 10:30 - 2:30 shift and it was pretty early into it. A lady comes through I have seen several times in the store. She has always been quiet but pleasant and is around 50 - 60 (?) years old.

She asked me if I have seen the tabloids and whether they are talking about the stars death list (?). "No" says I,

"And you won't, either!"

And the next thing I know I am hearing about how sonar is going to be the ruin of everything, she has studied astrology AND astronomy so she knows things.

"Did you know that Michael Jackson was in Scary Movie 3 and where is he now?"

"Dead.?"

"Yes, and the movies that Mel Gibson has done? Well first he did the Passion of the Christ and then Apocalypto. You saw what happened to Indonesia and then Haiti. A volcano and an earthquake."

"Really? (help? somebody? anybody? Please help?)"

"And There was a movie about space travel and life . . . ."

"Oh, you mean Forbidden Planet? That starred Leslie Nielson!" (idiot, shut your mouth)

Her eyes light up! ! ! !

"Well, you know, you should watch it again. There are lots of messages in that."

"Really?"

"Yes! And have you seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show? Well, you should. It has a lot of predictions too."

"And they have been sending sonar waves out to outer space and what pictures are coming back? This is what they are seeing. Hitler!"

Why don't I have another customer? Please?


10 minutes she talked to me about this stuff. TEN MINUTES! ! ! In the meantime I've smartened up and decided not to tell her that sonar is used underwater. I did find out though, that it is the sonar waves that are destroying everything and Mel Gibson has to quit making movies. Oh, and that stuff they talk about on Coast to Coast? ( a strange radio show that covers everything from the Cold war to tracking Sasquatch). Its all true, especially the alien parts.


Are you confused? ? ? ? ?

Yeah? Well try being in my shoes the next time she comes through. Because, guaranteed she is going to think of me as someone she can talk to and confide in.

Gawd, let it please just be because of the full moon.
Anyone know a place I can take 'rude' lessons???